By Mark Bauer/editor-in-chief
Some friends and I recently found ourselves out of town and ready to check out the city’s offerings. The girls we were with found a local venue with positive review scores on the Internet. We decided to check it out.
Our anticipation grew as we waited in line, and as we neared the door, the thump of the music could be felt while vibrations from the bass were clearing my sinuses. The night would be good.
Once we were inside, I began to take in my surroundings: a bar on the left, billiards and couches to my right—and lots and lots of men. But it was a double-decker club, so I figured the view might be a little different upstairs.
Nope.
In fact, it was worse. Men were holding hands, kissing and embracing one another on the dance floor, and as the great Jerry Seinfeld says, “not that there’s anything wrong with that.” (But that’s a different column in itself.)
At this point, one of the girls approached me and pointed out the obvious: we were in a gay club.
OK, so it wasn’t what I was expecting, but we would deal with it.
The girls ended up having a blast because they didn’t have to worry about getting hit on by sleazy men. OK, good point. But being put on this side of the “market” allowed me to witness first-hand the overly aggressive tactics men use on women. In that mode, I composed a list of dos and don’ts to sum up my experience that night.
Don’t: Pinch her butt. Sure, you may think it’s cute, but it is anything … er, but. Do: Ask if she is from around here. It’s an innocent and harmless conversation starter that shows more interest than “I like your behind.”
Don’t: Approach from behind and, unbeknownst to her, dance with her. Do: Approach her directly and ask if she would like to dance. If the answer is no, bust a move and walk away. It spares embarrassment when after 5 minutes of looking at the back of her head she turns around to find you there—only to walk away anyway.
Don’t: Take eyes meeting ONCE as an indicator of interest. Do: Take eyes that meet once, twice and thrice as a sign of “hey, you look interesting.” Oh, and absolutely no winking.
Sometimes people just want to have a good time, and in this incredibly sexually charged culture we find ourselves in, “fun” might not have anything to do with hooking up.
