By Tee Townsend/ reporter

Learning how to manage personal conflicts is important, an academic advisor told South students Nov. 12. 

Carl Scherrieb presented a workshop on conflict resolution strategies and the importance of resolving disputes.

“It takes a lot of energy to stay mad at someone,” he said.

The best solution to a conflict is an outcome mutually satisfying to both parties, Scherrieb said.

Scherrieb shared four resolution methods to help resolve disputes: negotiation, mediation, diplomacy and peace-building. Negotiation requires a search for a “win-win or amicable solution” and is the most recommended style of conflict resolution, he said. Mediation uses a third party to aid in the resolution of both parties.

Diplomacy is the “give and take” of resolution. Resolving a conflict diplomatically involves communication and peace-building, designed to prevent violent conflicts and create or maintain peace. In each resolution method, the disputing parties have to want a resolution and be willing to work together.

Resolving conflict does not mean that one party wins and the other party loses, Scherrieb said. It is about the ability of both parties to compromise.

“Even if you win, it may not be what you want,” he said.

Scherrieb said not all conflicts can be resolved amicably.

“Sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war,” he said.

If a party cannot resolve the conflict, it sometimes becomes necessary to maintain distance because “life will go on.” The resolution has to be one that answers the question, “Can you live with this?” Scherrieb said.

Conflict resolution requires communication. When conflicts arise, the biggest problem may be what is said by the parties involved, Scherrieb said.

“Your words are powerful,” he said.

Scherrieb said people should be mindful of what is said in a dispute.

To maintain most social relationships, conflict resolution strategies are used. In personal relationships, work-related or educational environments, everyone will experience some form of conflict that will require a strategy for resolution, Scherrieb said.

“In all relationships, you have to work together at some juncture with people,” he said.