By April Ozuna/ campus news editor
A growing trend is taking place in the realm of human sexuality that, as a divorced, single mother of two, completely bewilders me.
As I find myself rapidly approaching menopause, boldly engaging in the constant battle of concealing my gray every few weeks and wondering if I’ll live out my golden years alone in a state-funded assisted-living facility, I’m surprised to find I’m getting positive attention from the opposite sex.
At this phase in my life, one would think this would be celebrated. I assure you, it isn’t.
It’s downright disturbing, and I sometimes wonder if I’m being Punk’d. I can’t seem to attract a semi-decent man my age to save my life, yet I keep finding myself fighting off hoards of young bucks, ages 18-30, to the extent that I’ve become irritated, exhausted and even highly inconvenienced. I’ve had to change my telephone number twice.
Mind you, it doesn’t matter if I’m primed and polished or if I look a hot mess. Young men seem to be taken with me. I’m not referring to unattractive guys either. These boys are top-notch.
Baffled, I found this topic warranted some serious research. I also conferred with some of my same-age female counterparts to determine if this was indeed real or if it was all in my mind.
Oh, it’s real, all right.
Young men prefer older women. The question is why. Young men say that we older gals are more confident than younger women, we’re more experienced, and we put less pressure on them when it comes to dating. Add to that, they say that older women are looking younger nowadays than ever before.
It’s not necessarily that we’re more confident. It’s just that often times, we just don’t give a rip. That’s because we’re grown, and we have more important issues to obsess over like how we’re going to pay for our kids’ college since our ex-husbands aren’t required to pay child support any longer.
We are more experienced. That’s because we’ve roamed the earth for about 20 years longer. This isn’t rocket science.
Do we put less pressure on young guys when we’re dating them? If by not opposing a night of Netflix-and-chill because we have the good sense to not expect them to, one, have the money to pay for dinner or, two, have the good sense to not risk being seen in public on a date with someone who looks like we could have given birth to them, then yes.
And we gals certainly are looking younger. Credit Groupon for making Botox and dermal fillers more affordable.
The long and short of it is, young men want older women because they want sex without commitment, and we older gals aren’t foolish enough to want a commitment from a young guy.
A match made in heaven? Wrong. It didn’t work out well for Demi Moore, and I’m realistic enough to know that if she couldn’t pull it off, I certainly can’t either.
So unless you’re going to maintain my lawn, whisk me off to Paris for a weekend or beef up my contemptible retirement fund, go away and stop pestering me. If you want to be in the company of a cougar, I suggest you go to the Fort Worth Zoo.
