The Student News Site of Tarrant County College

The Collegian

The Student News Site of Tarrant County College

The Collegian

The Student News Site of Tarrant County College

The Collegian

Silence better than well-planned reply at times

I’m an expert at late comebacks.

What I mean by that is I’m good at sitting in my car or standing in front of a mirror and replaying in my mind what I should have said.

For example, the other day as I was finishing  checking out my groceries, the cashier gave me my total and asked me if I wanted to donate a dollar to the food bank.

“No, thank you,” I said.

“What’s a buck to you when there are kids going around hungry,” he asked loudly as he ripped off my receipt and handed it to me while rolling his eyes.

I stood there and blinked.

Before I could even register what he just said, he walked off like he had to take a cigarette break because he was so disgusted with me not coming off of a dollar.

Embarrassed, I gathered up my little grocery bags and made my way to the parking lot thinking “What just happened?”

By the time I reached the car, my embarrassment morphed into anger. That’s when my “excellent” late-comeback skills kicked in:

“Who the blankety-blank do you think you are judging me for how I spend my money?”

No, wait …

“Umm, excuse me? Are you the charity police?”

Yeah! I should have said that! Wait …

“Pffft! How much money have you donated to the food bank today?”

No …

“You can kiss my @&%$!”

OK, so my late comebacks are not usually immature, un-Christian-like, reactionary remarks that tend to escalate beyond reason, but by the time I’ve come up with what I wished I would have said, it’s too late to even bother.

In the case of the grocery cashier, it’s not like I would have marched back into the store to tell him what was on my mind. Even if I did, I’m sure the guy had moved on and forgot about it.

Oh, well. Late comebacks aren’t entirely lame. If anything, I get to process my thoughts and feelings, and even though I don’t like being called out or one-upped, most of the time I come to the conclusion that I just need to get over myself.

A non-response is better than a foolish one.

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