VIEWPOINTS
The delicate balance of being quiet but not shy, a good listener but not in your head, is a tricky one to achieve.
A meaningful conversation is a commitment. The person speaking trusts you with their thoughts and by extension, their feelings. They also trust you to be understanding of things that cannot be controlled in speech such as cadence and stumbling words.
The person listening commits to being respectful, patient and curious. Being able to listen is where learning happens, a vital part of being alive. Without being able to learn, there’s no hope of going anywhere worthwhile.
To truly listen, and thus being able to truly learn, there needs to be a level of putting aside our own problems and developing a curiosity for other people. Listening as closely as you’d like to be listened to is a way to bridge the gap between isolated thoughts and having them be understood.
The process of learning and listening requires being comfortable with being quiet. The charm of staying quiet has been getting lost in the flashiness of loud opinions and words used to simply fill up space.
When speaking, it’s important to commit to honesty. The words you use should be reflective of what is important to you, they should be sincere and intentional. Not every space has to be filled with language. Being careful with the words you speak allows for deeper thought. Cutting out filler language is where direct and clear communication thrives.
This is not an endorsement of being shy. I find shyness quite detrimental. Conversation is a skill just like any other, a rather important one. It’s about combining intentional speech with quiet learning.
It’s easier said than done. I keep the phrase “Kill your timid notion” in my head. The definition of timid is to lack courage or self-confidence. To kill your timid notion is to be sure in your words and actions. It’s also to be brave enough to own up to those words and actions.
The things you say have an echo. It’s important to be conscious of this to understand the importance of quietness.
Practicing the discipline of saying what you mean and meaning what you say will help you grow into the best version of yourself.
