By Kelsi Cunningham/reporter
“If you keep on doin’ what you’ve been doin’, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve got,” a social worker said last week on SE Campus.
Richard Williamson, an advanced practitioner, licensed master social worker and certified mediator, presented Managing Relationship Stress Feb. 21.
Williamson said problem solving includes five steps.
“ The first step is to accept that the problem exists and not get bent out of shape about it,” he said.
People need to decide how they want to solve the problem and follow that plan. Generally, the first step is to realize there is a problem and get ready to work through it.
The second step in problem solving, Williamson said, is to identify the problem and ask themselves “What is the problem?” The threat of a problem is what is unknown. People need to get to know their problems, not let them be a stranger and find out what is critical about the problem.
“ Most important, notice that what you think about the problem changes the more you learn about it,” he said.
The third step is to ask what can be done to fix the problem. Williamson said the individual should think of ways to use thoughts and behavior.
“ The key here is to forget about getting the right answer,” he said.
Williamson said the whole point is trying to come up with a solution and answer that will help solve the problem. He suggested writing down as many solutions as possible.
Step four is the most effective part of the problem solving because people are putting all of their solutions into a decision of how to solve their problems, Williamson said. There is more to problem solving than just making decisions. That is why people’s problems keep coming back, the speaker said.
“ So now is the time to decide which solutions are really doable and which of these doable solutions will put you where you want to be,” he said.
The final step is to evaluate whether the decision making helped solve the problems. Williamson said people should ask themselves if the solution worked. If the answer in no, they should go back to step three and look over the other possible solutions they wrote down.
“ If the answer is yes, then it is time to bask in the glory of your genius,” he said.
Offering tips on how to “fight fair,” Williamson said people need to pick a time that’s best for both.
Williamson also said people should stay on track with the issue. If more than one problem comes up, then they should write it down.
As a final piece of advice, Williamson said people should maintain respect for one another.
“ Do not allow sarcasm, put-downs or discounts,” he said.
For more information on different types of counseling, go to www.lenapopehome.org or call 817-255-2500.
