By Jordan Reber/reporter
Sex isn’t the most comfortable topic to talk about, but communication is the key to any successful relationship, a speaker said at a workshop April 11 on NE Campus.
NE counselor Julie Weaver prepared the speech “Sex and Intimacy” because she continuously had clients with questions about the topics.
“My opinion is ‘Don’t bury it under the rug,’ otherwise it becomes this massive thing,” she said.
Couples should be able to talk and hash things out, as long as it’s in a fair and loving way, Weaver said. This includes no blaming, judging, using ‘I’ statements and offering suggestions to better yourself, not just your partner.
Non-consensual sex is an issue for people in relationships, she said.
One partner may feel obligated to please the other, but there needs to be consent every time.
“They really feel if they’re married or in a long-term relationship that that is an obligation sometimes,” Weaver said.
Weaver added that this happens in healthy, happy relationships and hopes that others don’t ever feel that way. The circumstances do not matter.
If one partner says “no,” then it is rape, she said.
“I learned that no matter how long you’ve been married, it can still be rape,” NE student Kearah Pratt said. “Longevity of a relationship doesn’t matter without consent.”
Sex has to be under the right circumstances, and it won’t be perfect every time, Weaver said.
“I want to know as much as I can about sex before I actually try it with someone,” NE student Maggie Holm said.
Weaver explained the difference between sexual and emotional intimacy. While they don’t always go hand in hand, it’s not uncommon that they do.
“In my opinion, the act of sex is deficient and lacking if there isn’t an emotional closeness, you’re missing so much,” Weaver said.