Millennials 101 for boomers, Xers

By Susan Tallant/editor-in-chief

Attention boomers and gen Xers: the time has come to learn about a new breed we have created.

A breed that expects more for less, doesn’t take “no” for an answer, puts themselves first and likes to be pampered. An extremely clever breed that is technically savvy, incredibly resourceful and has no problem “thinking outside the box.”

Doting parents (such as myself), who replaced the paddle with a time-out chair and constant stream of praise, have produced 80 million “millennials,” a.k.a.—multi-tasking super texters who stroll into class sipping on an iced caramel macchiato with an iPod bud in one ear and an iPhone glued to the other.

In order to survive, we need to know what makes this bunch of 12- to 27-year-olds tick. And since the majority of students at TCC are in this age group (to the tune of more than 23,000), this lesson should come in handy for the rest of us.

Correspondent Morley Safer helped clue me in to their career needs during a recent 60 Minutes episode.

Requirement No. 1: No bossing allowed! Orders should be replaced with a softer style of management, kind of like a therapist. “You can’t really ask them to live and breathe the company because they’re living and breathing themselves and that keeps them very busy,” Marian Salzman, an ad agent who has been tracking millennials, told Safer.

Requirement No. 2: No more starched white shirt and tie! New employees want to roll into work around noon wearing flip-flops, but still be CEO by Friday, Safer said. Also, business hours need to be flexible to fit around priorities such as yoga class.

Requirement No 3: No settling! Salzman said millennials think of themselves like merchandise and having four jobs in one year on a resume is not a bad thing. “If you don’t want me, Mr. Employer, I’ll go sell myself down the street. I’ll probably get more money. I’ll definitely get a better experience. And by the way, they’ll adore me … you only like me.”

Requirement No. 4: Lots of praise required! Millennials have been told they are special since the day they met Mister Rogers. They enter the workplace with the expectation of automatically being rewarded just for showing up.

Boomer Solution: Play the lotto, and often, so you can retire early before the millennials drive you insane and your therapist bill gets higher than your mortgage payment!