There is value in depending on a community for support

HOPE SMITH
editor-in-chief
hope.smith393@my.tccd.edu

Life begins surrounded by community and we end it like that. No matter how self-sufficient or sustainable society becomes, and the country keeps on with American self-reliance and independence, we are nothing without the community we are surrounded by.  

This is all to say that the idea of someone being completely sustained by themselves is flawed because humans are, as every sociology teacher will tell you, social creatures. Humans cannot help it.  

In my limited existence, I can say that life is made up of all the experiences someone has had with, by, or for others. Think back on the lessons you have learned, how did you learn it? How many had someone else involved?  

Because we exist in a large network of threads connecting someone to another, hyper-independent mindsets can’t thrive without completely severing ties. And some people may think they can do it, but this effort doesn’t go without living a lonely life. 

I think this also plays into self-improvement tactics encouraging you to drop all of the people in your life to hide away and make “improvements” on yourself.  

It doesn’t make sense – unless these people are horrible and your life would improve without them – to sever connections with others so you can become a better person. Who will you go back to once it’s all over? As an ever changing human being, will you have a relentless cycle of pushing and pulling people away on your journey to self discovery? 

 This way of living can deteriorate mental and social development. In sociology terms, children are socialized for a reason. This probably has something to do with John Locke who described the human mind as a blank slate. This statement appears to still be true 300 years later when we look at how society has gained success off of the failures of another.   

The truth is, you cannot do this alone.  

Without getting too “Friendship is Magic,” there isn’t enough emphasis on community these days.  

We often see in storylines how any girl moving to the city leaves her small town that was holding her back and keeping her down. She yearns for a world that is big and wild, and the message remains that the small town was going to snuff her out.  

As a former very small town kid from dusty west Nevada in the armpit of the desert, I have enough backing to say this only discourages the community mindset. 

Between the beating sun and the windy days, I didn’t love it there, but I was never on a street I didn’t at least know someone. 

Community provides a net of safety for a growing child. In a perfect world, that community will share their knowledge of the world and of life, and the child will grow into a human with deep connecting knowledge to pass on. There is nothing wrong with wanting friends, family, or a life full of people.  

Loneliness is consuming. The path is an uphill battle while you watch others on a ski lift ride to the top. Don’t choose it.  

People can be scary and intimidating, without a doubt. No one said it was easy, but no one should say dropping friends and family for a glow up was a good idea, too. Choose the life you want to live and the people you want in it.