Need to be right has become more important than empathy

Duncan Shaffer/unsplash
Duncan Shaffer/unsplash

ALEX HOBEN
photo editor
alexandra.hoben@my.tccd.edu

Empathy has been shunned from “intelligent” conversation, and this is detrimental to our recovery process.

It seems in so many nuanced discussions I’ve had recently that the ability to consider others has been thrown out the window, and I’m tired of it. I’ve had to stop myself from grabbing someone by the shoulders and shouting, “I don’t know how to convince you to care about other people,” as they callously address subjects without considering the impact it has on others.

I will never endorse the censoring of free speech, but I will always endeavor to consider the effect my opinions will have on others. Unfortunately, it seems this filter has been removed from so many of the people around me. I believe it is in part because of the pandemic and how we as a society haven’t quite settled. Emotional nuances have changed since we went from a flat-screen with two-dimensional interactions to in-person conversation again.

What’s especially annoying is when these arguments are presented as superior just because they’ve supposedly gotten rid of emotional bias. 

The sympathy we feel for others is seen as a weakness rather than an important tool for motivation and understanding. The ability to relate to others is what gives campaigns meaning, no matter what side you are on, but instead of highlighting the empathy in their message, they demonize it.

One of the main rationales for criticizing emotionally-driven arguments is how you “can’t save everyone,” and the ideals that are often espoused are too unrealistic to even be considered.

As if to say that it’s pointless to argue, so be happy with where we are. But I believe that without the mindset of aiding everyone, how would society be aware of the problems that need addressing? The ability to relate to and sympathize with others’ struggles is one of the most impressive traits of the human mind.

I know it’s impossible to help everyone in our society and that’s it’s completely unrealistic to never have something horrible happen. We don’t live in a perfect world after all. But I don’t think that’s an adequate reason to become complacent. Is it so wrong to hope for better while watching others suffer, especially when popular media shows us every tragic occurrence we can think of?

There is no understanding or solace in pure logic, just as there is no order and structure in pure emotions. To take one from the other is detrimental to our understanding of one another.

Intelligence has become synonymous with “emotionally devoid,” which is ridiculous. Emotional intelligence, or EQ, when used productively, is the most important and impressive function of our communication abilities, and it will be the key tool going forward in this divided social landscape.

An effective EQ will be the way we can get past our knee-jerk response to opinions that differ from ours and help us come to a middle ground.

Empathy is such a powerful aid for our betterment and mistaking it with naivety is the greatest oversight.