Love proves challenging, worth it regardless

By Elyssa Whaley/ne news editor

As I was growing up, I thought love would be kind of like a movie. Instead, I’ve learned that love is a friendship consisting of commitment, honesty and patience.

Onur and I started dating in January 2011 while he was here from Turkey on a student visa. He has completed his master’s, and we have been in a long-distance relationship since August 2012.

He was recently posted to serve his mandatory Turkish military service near the border of Syria and Iraq, not exactly the safest place in the world right now.

Onur told me he would be transported to the base with military security and cannot leave once there because it’s too dangerous. He promised he would find a way to communicate with me. 

It isn’t safe, though, and that frightens me.

I bought a plane ticket when I found out he was going. I had to see him right away. I worked on my class projects through spring break and crossed my fingers hoping I’d get work off.

Sitting on the plane waiting for takeoff, I felt anxious thinking about the circumstance of our relationship. It was such a cliché moment, but I felt how much I could love and care about someone within an instant and worried that would be taken from me.

I realized how much it meant to me just to be able to hold his hand, look into his eyes and hear his voice.

My seatmate interrupted my thoughts and asked me why I was going to Istanbul. I told her I was going to see my fiancé.

She wanted to know about my relationship. I told her how we met, our first date and his Valentine’s Day proposal.

I started to relax after sharing my memories with her. When I finished, she smiled at me brightly and said my life sounded like a movie.

I thought to myself, “It does, but it’s not necessarily what I wanted.”

I can’t hit rewind and go back to my favorite parts or fast-forward over the suspenseful ones to find out what will happen next.

I can’t go back to the evening we met, the time we lived together, the nights we cooked dinner and did our homework or the day he asked me to marry him.

Those days have passed and become wonderful memories and taught me so much.

I think a lot of people rush into relationships thinking it is like a movie or a 1950s sitcom when in reality it’s not.

Love by any means is not easy and will confront every part of you, but on the inside, you know it’s worth every moment, the good and the challenging.

It’s better than any movie that could ever be made. You just need to be with the right person.