By Mark Bauer/editor-in-chief

If you have ever taken the time to sit and watch a dog (that’s canine, not to be confused with your not good enough for your sister brother-in-law), you can come to one conclusion very quickly.

Dogs are extremely happy creatures with little or no cares in the world—lest you are a mailman.

They also have little or no brain capacity.

I know, I know, bring on the hate mail, dog-lovers.

In my attempt to harness their happiness to apply it to humanity, I studied their living habits and characteristics, only to discover that butt sniffing and drinks from the toilet are apparently both sources of utter joy.

Now, I didn’t have the courage to test my hypothesis, so according to the very basic fundamentals of the scientific method, my theory collapses under its own weight. So you’ll just have to take my word for it. But it’s all true, I assure you.

Still, if it’s not the smelling of a derriere or drinking out of a stained yellow porcelain bowl that makes us happy, what does?

One researcher in 1989 set off to find out just that, and after years of studying happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky released her findings in the book The How of Happiness.

Of her studies on identical twins, she discovered that 50 percent of happiness is based on genetics.

Much like weight, we have a set-point for happiness—and whether sad or blissful—our levels don’t deviate much from those points. They might be temporarily spiked by obtaining new things, such as a new car or a best friend in the form of a dog, but once the newness wears off, our happiness levels dwindle back to their original points.

However, Lyubomirsky suggests forcing a smile on your face and not trying to keep up with the Joneses.

Ultimately, happiness is something that must be exercised and put into practice.

And while there may not be any direct correlation with happiness and sniffing butts, maybe in some weird way it somehow represents friendship or, at the very least, social interaction.

So go say hi to someone.

Just do us all a favor—if you’ve been drinking out of the toilet, be sure to brush your teeth or chew a stick of gum before you do so.