By Eric Bergman/reporter

Everyone wants to be liked in any setting, whether for career aspirations, dating or love life, NW students were reminded last month.

In First Impression: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You, Danelle Ellis, staff librarian, provided tips and skills for personal and professional acceptance.

“Why do we care about making first impressions? What do we all want? “ she asked. “Appreciation, connection, mood elevation and enlightenment. “

Ellis recommended First Impression by Ann Demaris, Ph.D., and Valerie White, Ph.D., as something students and professionals alike should read for a solid background regardless if they are after this information for personal or professional gains.

“We all want something from you,” she said.

Ellis said seven elements dictate first impressions: accessibility, interest, subject matter, self-disclosure, conversation dynamics, perspective and sex appeal.

“Being closed off is difficult to approach, so always try to be approachable to fit the profile that is to be expected,” she said. “Make your introduction active as opposed to passive. Practice your handshake.”

Tone and content also play a large role in how impressions are made.

Physical focus goes hand in hand with “eye contact,” Ellis said. 

Processing the information given is of the utmost importance and includes remembering names, asking questions, listening and repeating what was said.

The three F’s of field, facts and fun help process information dealing with the subject at hand. People should keep their outlook nonthreatening and mind their styling, Ellis said.

“How much of ourselves do we reveal?”

In self-disclosing, people should follow a process: warm up and follow the rules, Ellis said.

No one wants to look bad.

Ellis said passions are almost always positive; blunders tend to be sexy, and one should explain rather than complain.

“Style dictates your dynamics,” she said.

The biggest indicator is the energy and intensity of one’s persona, Ellis said. Handling interruptions and dealing with volume are also key factors in making a good impression along with how floor space is used to one’s advantage.

The world’s perception has a huge impact on the way an individual’s style appears to the masses.

“Dress for success and speak as well as act the way you want to be treated,” she said.

Ellis then moved to sex appeal.

“Are you a flirt, boring, or in between?” she asked.

Physical perception is one of the most important aspects of how others can view and accept someone. Ellis said another large factor is appreciating others in any scenario.

“Learn to tweak your style and overcome bad impressions,” she said.

For more information about this topic, students can contact Ellis in the NW Library, or visit http://library.tccd.edu, e-mail ask.librarian@tccd.edu.