By Ashley Wood/reporter
Stuck in traffic because of a wreck, the driver knows he/she will be late to work, so rage and agitation start building because this is just another thing gone wrong.
SE counselor Carisa Bustillos-Givens gave this example during I’ve Got the Power! Stress Relief Using Emotional Intelligence Feb. 19.
“Who has the power?” she asked. “The power is you, essentially. You must learn emotional wellness.”
Emotional wellness is learning one’s emotional intelligence quotient, or EQ, Bustillos-Givens said. It is becoming self-aware and aware of the way one’s emotions affect others.
“Our goal is to tone down our emotions, not to stop feeling them but to lessen the intensity to manage and control your life,” she said.
EQ has four core abilities: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. It won’t be easy and will take time to learn these skills, Bustillos-Givens said.
“Self-awareness can be helped with controlled breathing exercises that reduce stress level hormones, which helps with tension, anxiety and angry outburst,” she said.
People should take care of themselves and nurture themselves emotionally, Bustillos-Givens said.
“Learn how to say no when you choose to,” she said. “Don’t avoid everything. Just be done and don’t deal with people that stress you out.”
People should be assertive in communication but not aggressive, Bustillos-Givens said. They should express their feelings to someone else and not keep all that emotion bottled up. People also need to build a support network.
“They don’t make classes in college for how to deal with commitment, motivation and decision-making,” she said. “These are things you learn in life, but don’t think you are alone. There are counselors and support at every campus.”
SE student Rasmieh Jafari attended the session for a class.
“I needed this for extra credit, but I also wanted to learn new ways to deal with my emotions,” she said.
Jafari said she is always up for learning new ideas and finding things that work for her.
“Take your high-intensity feelings and tone them down low,” Bustillos-Givens said. “It will help you feel better physically and mentally. Remember you can control your emotions but not the things that happen in the world.”
