As I sit at my computer struggling to write my goodbye, I think back to where I was two years ago and how much my life has changed since then. 

I’ve found sanity through journalism. Ironic to say that with how chaotic the world is, but speaking to people and writing has been healing for me. 

In my first year as a reporter for The Collegian, I had my wisdom teeth removed, got an infection, broke up with my partner of three years, broke our lease and moved to a new apartment, lost my job, grew a nodule in my face, had it surgically removed, got on food stamps and then lost food stamps. All while writing stories for our weekly print paper. 

Needless to say, I was busy. 

For a while, I thought the string of bad was due to a mirror I broke months before everything started. However, looking back at it all now, those events were necessary. 

I don’t like boasting, so I’ll keep this short, but some of the articles I wrote then have won state and national awards now. But listen, while being recognized is great, I find it more important I wrote recognized pieces during such a hard time in my life. 

We’ve heard it before, but it is important to get back up after falling. While it may not be easy, the reward in the end is worth it although the reward for me isn’t having my name on a plaque. It’s what I’ve discovered about myself throughout the process.  

I struggled before starting my journey as a reporter. Even before choosing to try college again in 2021. I didn’t have a hard life, but who gets an easy one, right?  

For me, taking on the challenge to enroll at TCC was a search for something better. To do that, I had to rid myself of a lot of bad habits.  

While typing that was easy, actually doing it wasn’t.  

By 2024, I hadn’t graduated yet. I was working and managing school, but to say I had it figured out isn’t true. I couldn’t maintain a healthy weight and had visited the ER three times in the past year due to kidney issues. I had my drinking under control, but my addictive behavior was presenting itself differently.  

It wasn’t until joining The Collegian in August that my issues began to fade. Sure, in the moment there were other things causing my life to be chaotic, but they were out of my control.  

Everything in my control was being taken care of, and really, I can only contribute my success to you. 

Yes, you. To everyone in this community I never paid attention to before, until I became a reporter.  

Speaking with students, faculty and staff helped me find myself. Gathering information, writing the story and having it published for others to read gave me a rush no drug ever could. 

A thing some addicts say is that we will always be an addict. Sure, the drug isn’t there, but it can be seen in how we work. Some find their rush as a chef, others through social work, and for me, it’s journalism.  

My real sobriety, my strength, my purpose, all came from being in the newsroom surrounded by a group of wonderful people who didn’t care about my past and only wanted to support my future.  

It came from listening to other people’s triumphant stories, or even just their frustrations with the world. It came from back-and-forth emails with administrators trying to get answers for my news story.  

Basically, it came from this chaotic world called journalism, that somehow made things not so chaotic for me.  

While my frustrations can still be heard as I scream on print day, if I didn’t have print day, I don’t know where I would be right now.  

So, with all of that, goodbye. But not forever, you’ll see my byline again, just not in The Collegian.