The ‘friend zone’ myth should be stopped quickly

By Erin Ratigan/tr news editor

All too often, I find myself on Facebook, marveling at the gall of some guys and their obsession with the “friend zone.”

The friend zone is a limbo-esque state of being, where a guy is passed up by the girl he likes in favor of another. Usually this other guy is considered unsuitable by the first, though that is probably out of bitterness most of the time.

It bears mentioning that the guys on Facebook leaving friend zone posts are often the same ones taking photos of themselves standing in front of the mirror without their shirts on. I am not alone in finding that unappealing, so the friend zone may not be the real problem there.

Any guy that says “She didn’t know a good thing when she had it” is clearly nursing a bruised ego and is asking others to accommodate his bitterness. But underneath the friend zone myth lies a bigger one, which has been spreading through social media like incredibly aggravating wildfire: that women just like jerks.

That is a load of rubbish.

Women don’t like jerks. What these women are doing is settling, and what a woman likes and what she settles for are two very different things.

When it comes to relationships, females go for either who they think they deserve or who they think is the best they can get. Therefore, whether out of low self-esteem or bad experiences, girls are more likely to date a guy who treats them poorly if they feel they don’t deserve a better one.

In these scenarios, what friend zone advocates should do is reassure these women and stop judging them. By carrying on this friend zone charade, they perpetuate the notion that women can’t make proper decisions.

If a girl chooses an unsavory guy, that is her decision. Women have the right to make bad decisions as men do.

The term friend zone is just as off-putting as its meaning. To say that one is stuck in the friend zone is to say that being friends is bad because there are no benefits. Though there are limits to the benefits of a healthy friendship, there are benefits nonetheless.

Friendships are relationships minus the sex. Thus, it is safe to conclude that the driving force behind the friend zone myth is a desire for sex and not relationships.

Finally, who is to say the friend-zoned guy is any better than the other one? It is patronizing for a man to say he knows what is best for a woman. Patronizing women will not win them over. It will only drive them away. That is why this myth needs to be stopped.