By John Garces/sports editor
Dear Santa:
I’m writing you on behalf of all the sports fans in America.
It’s a tough job, I know, but I think I’ve narrowed down our Christmas list for the upcoming sports calendar.
As a long-suffering Cowboys fan, is it too much to ask for a return to the Super Bowl after 12 seasons?
After all, I’m still getting over that lump of coal you put in our stocking after the New Year when Tony Romo bobbled the snap in Seattle.
While you are at it, where’s the lump of coal you need to give to the New England Patriots as penance for their cheating, bullying ways?
In the wake of the most unpredictable season in recent memory, can we please have some sort of playoff in college football? I’ll settle, of course, for the Bowl Championship Series getting a clue.
Because I care about our canine friends, how about foregoing the usual punishment in the case of Michael Vick and putting him in a ring with all the dogs he tortured instead?
Now that Barry Bonds has been indicted, Oh Jolly Red One, how about giving him the ultimate lump in his stocking by removing his name from the history books, and our lives, forever?
To do this, of course, you will likely have to drop some courage in Bud Selig’s stocking.
When baseball season arrives, do Rangers fans one small favor. Give us some glimmer of hope. Anything will do. I’d ask you to make Tom Hicks disappear, but I know that’s not exactly in the spirit of the season.
Speaking of baseball, no matter what Alex Rodriguez asks for, such as a championship, don’t give it to him. Spoiled athletes must rank pretty high on your naughty list, I assume.
As for his agent, perhaps you should give Scott Boras some humility. Nobody likes an agent with an ego bigger than that of the stars he represents, after all.
Since it’s basketball season already, can you work on the Mavericks” title chances? I understand not everybody can win one, but shouldn’t a team who was bad for so long climb the mountain just once?
Hockey fans all over would like the rest of the world to know their sport still exists.
In perhaps the most daunting request of all, St. Nick, could we have an Olympics next year without even the smallest hint of a doping controversy?
Nope, I didn’t think so, either.
The eradication of those drugs would be nice, too, but for that, I think I need a miracle that isn’t on 34th Street.
If you find these wishes to be too daunting, please accept the peace offering of milk and cookies that has been left out for you.
After all, the holiday season is here, and it’s a wonderful life that sports fans deserve.
