By Edna Horton/reporter

The South Campus coordinator of health services encouraged students Feb. 4 to talk positively to themselves and to take time for themselves.

Flo Stanton, a registered nurse, presented Balancing Multiple Roles and Positive Self-Talk, the first two of a three-part series.

Stanton offers the presentations in collaboration with Women in New Roles, a six-hour psychology and human relations program, open to TCC students.

“I need to be in the right relationship with me to be in right relationships with others,” she said.

Stanton said she wanted to bring about more effective individuals by helping them to balance their multiple roles. She discussed the many different roles people play in their daily lives. They may be wife, husband, father, mother, son, daughter, student or employee. On any given day, these roles shift back and forth, sometimes making life difficult, Stanton said.

Stanton said many people make the mistake of forgetting themselves in the list of life roles. She said role awareness can help people deal with role conflicts and offered techniques to maintain order.

First, people should establish a time frame to complete goals.

Then they need to let go. Stanton said her garage has finally been cleaned out after 31 years.

“I just threw out a smoke-stained dresser that came with me from a fire,” she said. 

Since communication is another important tool, Stanton said people should be open and honest about their needs and concerns. And they should make a list of tasks that others can complete.

“Delegate,” she said.

Stanton told students to be flexible because everything does not have to be perfect.

“Allow ‘pamper me’ time,” she said.

Stanton said people can take a bubble bath, go for a walk or read a book during that pamper time.

Getting rid of the negative implications that go along with taking care of oneself will help with positive self-talk, Stanton said.

The goal of positive self-talk is to promote the constructive thinking and behavior by saying something positive, she said.

Stanton also suggested identifying the language of downers versus uppers. Downers include the words “can’t, won’t, worst or should.” Instead, Stanton said to replace the downers with uppers like “need to,” “would be in my best interest” and “yes, I can.”

The second and third objectives are listening for irrational thinking and practicing positive self-talk. When life changes, it is unrealistic to think everything will stay the same, Stanton said.

Stanton said people should change “When I start school, everything will be the same” to “I am starting school. Things are going to be very different.”

The third part of the series, Laughing Your Way Through Stress, will be 6-6:45 p.m. April 1 in the SSTU Forum Room on South Campus.

For more information regarding the Women in New Roles network, contact Trish Light, South Campus program coordinator, at triesha.light@tccd.edu or visit www.win-r.org or www.tccd.edu/win-r.