By David Reid/reporter
The battle between brain and heart continues, a SE Campus audience was told April 23, and is determined by a person’s IQ and EQ, also known as emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage one’s emotions and stay on course even when weathering life’s most challenging storms, counselor Carisa Bustillos said, and determines how they respond to emotional situations.
“IQ can get you an A on a test, but it won’t get you ahead in life,” she said. “Emotional intelligence enables us to make good choices.”
Emotional intelligence is often overlooked and is not seen as a trait important to living a successful life, Bustillos said. Eighty-one percent of employees terminated are fired because of bad attitudes, and 23 percent of those lacked emotional intelligence, she said.
Bustillos described the 2007 case of astronaut Lisa Nowak, who drove from Texas to Florida to confront a lover who was seeing another woman. When she arrived, she approached the woman with a gun. The incident put an end to Nowak’s career.
To be an astronaut, Nowak had to have a high IQ, Bustillos said, but her EQ was not high enough to know that what she was doing was a bad idea.
“Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses and have self-confidence,” she said, adding that being emotionally self-aware helps a person know what upsets them and what they can handle.
Once people are aware of what they can handle, they must be able to manage themselves, Bustillos said.
“Self-management is the ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments and adapt to changing circumstances,” she said.
Self-management helps determine whether a person acts out and does something unhealthy or remains calm and finds a healthy outlet for emotions.
Often, people can control their emotions but lack empathy or the ability to understand the emotions of other people, Bustillos said.
“Social awareness is the ability to understand the emotions, needs and concerns of other people,” she said.
Self-aware people can manage their emotions, empathize with other people and manage relationships better, she said.
“Relationship management is the ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team and manage conflict,” she said.
Having a high emotional intelligence will help improve a person’s relationships, mental health and decision-making, Bustillos said, and IQ without EQ will not lead to a successful life.
