KEYLA HOLMES
campus editor
keyla.holmes@my.tccd.edu
Finding a partner has its ups and downs. For Black women, it’s especially challenging.
According to Pew Research Center, Black women are the least likely to get married when it comes to demographics. With Eurocentric beauty standards influencing those who live in the western world’s view on attraction, this can leave women of color, and specifically Black women, feeling undesirable.
Darker skin and kinkier hair have been seen in a negative light for decades, but what does this mean for Black people and Black women when it comes to finding a partner?
In an age where those who are seeking connection can just download a dating app on their phones and swipe right, the disparities can be even more apparent.
Black women not only have to learn how to love their features and embrace their true selves, but also face stereotypes that may hurt their chances of romance.
The “angry Black woman” stereotype may negatively influence potential love interests into thinking that Black girls are just difficult or confrontational.
Also, they don’t tend to be associated with some of the hallmarks of femininity, such as being seen as delicate, gentle and frail. Oftentimes in the media Black women are portrayed as being manly, aggressive or even animalistic. Cartoons drawn of Serena Williams are an example of this.
Racism plays a part in every facet of a Black person’s life. Romance is no exception.
While it’s natural to wonder if a partner’s family and friends will be accepting of a new relationship, Black women have to consider whether or not that person’s family and friends will be willing to actually understand her.
This is a reality for those dating outside of their race. Just because a partner makes them feel seen or heard, doesn’t mean their family will. What if they aren’t as accepting? What do you do?
On top of the friction that already tends to be created when two people are building such an intimate relationship with one another, now the couple has to consider how race affects their relationship.
Connections tend to be built off of common interests, relatability and familiarity. However, when it comes to dating, Black women may already have a disadvantage if they’re in a predominantly white space.
Colorism is also a reality that Black women face. A woman’s proximity to whiteness may equate to her desirability in regards to romance, adding another layer to consider. Being the “pretty Black girl.” The one who may have lighter skin, a lighter color of hair and eyes as well as a looser curl pattern. All of these factors create hurdles for Black women to do mental gymnastics when it comes to trying to attract a partner.
It’s important for Black women to know that they are pretty and desirable just the way that they are. The right partner for them will not only know this, but be there to remind their Black wife, girlfriend or partner when they’re not feeling as confident in their own skin one day.
