I had the joy of going to high school during the late ‘90s. Country music, alternative and gangster rap rang through the halls of our high school providing the soundtrack to our lives.
While watching the news the other day, I saw that Garth Brooks, ‘90’s country superstar, has been accused of rape. Instinctively, my first thought was “No, not Garth.”
As a woman, I believe women when it comes to instances regarding rape, abuse or assault. But as a lifelong fan, what about my love for the musician or band?
The jokes, memes and lunchroom conversations about rapper Puff Daddy, Diddy, or Sean Combs, are arguably accurate. If the criminal charges against him are true, Mr. Comb’s has created a pickle for himself, and his empire.
The list of musicians that Comb’s has produced music for is lengthy, including Notorious B.I.G., Mariah Carey, TLC, Mary J. Blige, Jennifer Lopez, and Jay-Z.
My interal conflict begins. Do I need to stop listening to Biggie because he worked so closely with Diddy? What about all of the other musicians that are linked together by my memories and glory days?
Dave Grohl recently admitted to having extra marital affairs and getting a woman pregnant. My brain stumbles as I try to imagine never listening to “Nirvana” or “The Foo Fighters” again.
Kanye West has made repeated comments in recent years expressing antisemitism and racially derogative views and language. While some may give West a pass because of his bi-polar disorder, many can’t discount the hurtful remarks he has made.
West’s behavior hit me hard. His music was a daily part of my life in my 20s. So many core memories and foundations of friendship were built while listening to him perform.
I believe that everyone has a fine, invisible line as to what they will tolerate and what they cannot look away from.
When the R. Kelly documentary “Surviving R. Kelly” came out in 2019, I watched transfixed to the horror revealed in front of my eyes. That documentary haunted me and elicited feelings of sadness for the girls involved.
I went through my music list and removed any song he had sung. I don’t think I could ever attempt to listen to those songs again without thinking of the abused women he hurt.
After seeing the Combs video of him beating up his ex-girlfriend, Cassie Ventura, I went through a similar process of deleting his music. “It’s All About the Benjamins” and “Mo Money Mo Problems” went to the same deserted island of music that R. Kelly inhabits.
I choose not to actively listen to West anymore. Every once in a while, a song of his will pop on from an older playlist of mine, and I may listen to the song, not in support of West but reminiscing about the memory attached to it.
I will not purchase an album from West again. Perhaps I could reconsider if he publicly apologized for his remarks and showed an effort to right his wrongs. He has yet to do that, so I am not very optimistic.
People are humans and make mistakes. While I am disappointed in Grohl, if I deleted every song from an artist who has had extra marital affairs or impregnated someone out of a monogamous relationship, I wouldn’t have any music left.
If the allegations are proven true against Brooks, his music will have to join the island. I pray he is a bigger man than what he has been accused of, but as we can see, our heroes are not always deserving of wearing the capes their fans bestow on them.
To the artists performing heinous acts, tolerating them, or looking the other way when they see or hear something, you are the problem. The things you attempt to do under cover of darkness will eventually come to light.
If you are a victim of domestic violence or rape, there are amazing resources that will help you.
The Women’s Center of Fort Worth is a valuable resource assisting women regarding sexual assault and domestic violence. They have programs that offer counseling, options you can take leaving a domestic violence situation and even services to help women find careers.
Please report your account to the police. They are the ones that can help these skeeze balls stay away from you or from hurting other women. If you need support to do so, I am a friend that can show you how to get help and resources. You are never alone.
