The Student News Site of Tarrant County College

The Collegian

The Student News Site of Tarrant County College

The Collegian

The Student News Site of Tarrant County College

The Collegian

Babysitter now, executive later

By Mark Bauer/editor-in-chief

Taking care of little children is something I would consider a skill. Not only is it a skill, but it happens to be one that I think I possess (keyword there is think). I believe this to be true so much that I could probably include it on job applications or the about me on my Facebook or Myspace, or maybe even an Internet dating site.

What quality does a woman look for in a man?

Probably a diaper-changing-quality. Yes, that’s right—drink it in, ladies. If it’s stinky and smelly, I probably dealt it.

Er, dealt with it.

You tend to forget how difficult babysitting can be until you come out of retirement to do it as I did recently to watch my niece.

Many moons have passed since the last time I put any of my young siblings to bed. This task can be a difficult one—especially when they have legs and can waddle down a hallway at a stealthy 1.2 miles per hour.

For starters, my niece just recently became potty trained … a fact she declared many times throughout the evening. But despite the cause-and-effect relationship between drinks and trips to the bathroom, she was juicin’ as if the World Series depended on it.

How much liquid can a little girl not much bigger than a watermelon hold?

While my niece made amends with her kidney, her younger brother was making playful noises in his playpen (which, by the way, isn’t so much a playpen as it is a babysitting cage).

But he eventually got disgruntled, from what I could only assume was a dirty diaper, and began terrorizing the cat by launching a nuclear attack of wooden blocks.

So I put the cat in the cage, and the kid on the floor. But before I could go check on my niece to make sure she wasn’t swimming in the toilet, I saw a naked little butt attached to bouncing brown hair bounding down the hallway. Apparently, she finished.

Eventually, I tamed them and they fell asleep before my sister and her husband got home. I think that’s the ultimate gauge of a successful babysitting evening—regardless of how messy the house turned out.

Unfortunately, I told my sister babysitting was no problem and to call me whenever they needed me. Oh joy … but it still looks good on a resume. Right?

Donate to The Collegian

Your donation will support the student journalists of Tarrant County College. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
Donate to The Collegian